“No!” “Don’t do that!” “That’s not right!” “That’s not a good thing to say!” Almost all parents say these or similar things to their children, and most often than not, their aim remains to teach good values to kids by letting them know what’s bad and what’s not right. However, why is it so that irrespective of the context, it is always considered easy to reprimand kids and ask them not to do something rather than patiently explaining why they shouldn’t be doing what they were doing? Is it really that difficult?
At The Navyandhra School, ranked among the Top Schools in Gurugram, Sector 49, we firmly believe that if we can make a slight change in the way we interact with our children, it can actually do a world of good to the way kids behave. Not only this but a simple change in the way we deal with our kids can also help to improve our bonding with them.
Focusing on the positive things in life (small or big) instead of pointing out the negatives (shouting, shaming, or scaring) while interacting with kids is what experts call positive language.
While it may seem like a very small change, its impact is anything but small. Positive language helps nurture resilience and compassion and reduces tantrums and other behavioral issues in children.
So today, in this blog, we, at The Navyandhra School, will discuss the role of positive language in the personality development of children and the multiple benefits of communicating with kids in a positive, motivating language. Happy reading!
Why is Positive Language So Important for Personality Development of Children?
Before we move to the many benefits of choosing positive words, it’s essential to understand how it helps children become the best versions of themselves. To understand this better, you first need to understand how children process words and their meanings.
As you know, human language is a rather complex entity. It is contextual, meaning the exact string of words can have multiple meanings when you use it in different contexts and different tones. For example, “No, I am not hungry” can mean someone is genuinely not hungry but can also mean that someone is so angry with you that they refuse to eat (throwing an adult tantrum), even though they are hungry.
With years of practice, adults learn to make out the difference most of the time (though even they fail in critical situations), but expecting a child to know the difference between the spoken word and its implied meaning is like running a fool’s errand! So, when you tell them, “Stop throwing water at your sister,” they often end up thinking, “why not”? They find these statements confusing, and thus, such statements often fail to stop them from doing unwanted activities.
To change the above statement into positive words, try telling them, “Please, leave the bucket and apologize to your sister for throwing water. She does not like it.” This gives them a clear picture of your expectations from them and shows them how they can change their behavior for good.
Benefits of Using Positive Language with Kids
We, at The Navyandhra School, always encourage our teachers as well as the parents to actively ‘think’ before dealing with children and their regular tantrums. When you consciously choose positive, directional, and motivating words, it empowers them to make correct choices on their own. Such language helps them understand the motive behind your comments, and they are more likely to oblige.
Here, we have listed down some of the main benefits of using positive language while communicating with kids.
- It helps build resilience and problem-solving abilities
When children have supportive parents who motivate them to see the silver lining in the darkest of clouds, they grow up to become resilient adults. Additionally, it also helps improve their problem-solving skills. Such children look for workarounds if they face a hurdle instead of giving up. This especially holds true in the current times when all of us have realized the importance of being resilient and hopeful amid the pandemic lockdown. Positive language can help your child hone this aspect from a young age.
- It inculcates a sense of responsibility and pro-activeness
When you give children alternatives for a specific action or behavior instead of simply telling them not to do something, it helps in instilling in them a sense of responsibility and ownership for their actions. When such kids grow up, they are much more proactive in different aspects of life and are one step closer to being better leaders.
- It helps build confidence and self-esteem
When you use negative words, you are essentially showing the child limitations or things he/she cannot do instead of telling him/her what he/she is capable of doing. Shaming or scaring a child might look like easy way outs for that moment, but it has devasting effects on the child’s self-esteem and confidence in the longer run.
- It improves parent-child interactions and bonding
There are many scientific studies that correlate positive learning outcomes in kids with the kind of parent-child interaction they have. The more positive these interactions are, the better are the cognitive and academic learning outcomes.
Mother Teresa once said, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” How true is that! At The Navyandhra School, one of the top schools in Gurugram, sector 49, we firmly believe in the power of positive language on the emotional and mental wellbeing of young minds. All our teachers are trained to replace negative words with directional and positive language whenever communicating with the kids. At our school, we consciously use positive language with our students to motivate them and enable their growth into responsible, empathetic individuals, which we believe is only possible through a positive way of nurturing.
We would like to urge the parents to also try and adopt the practice of communicating in positive language at home as it will greatly benefit your children in many ways. So, the next time your child does something that is not right, try to hold back and think how these conversations would go if you simply changed your words. You will notice a significant change in the behavior of your kids and also find your bonding getting stronger with them over time.